Igniting the
Inner Fire

Anger is not the enemy - it's the sacred fire of your life force. It is the primal surge that declares: "I am alive. I matter. This boundary has been crossed." Yet, for so many of us, this powerful energy lies buried under layers of guilt and shame, blocked from flowing freely. We have been conditioned for centuries to view anger as dangerous, sinful, or "wrong"- something to suppress, especially in women, children, and anyone taught that "nice" means never upset. 

In my work with clients, I witness this pattern again and again. We arrive at the threshold of anger - a healthy intention to express it rises, perhaps in a breathwork session or somatic exploration. I offer gentle encouragement: "It's safe to let this energy move." And in that moment... dissociation arrives. The body freezes, the eyes glaze, the voice softens into numbness. Later, in reflection, the truth emerges:

"I felt so much shame. Guilt stopped me.  
What if I'm bad for feeling this?” 

This is the tragedy of suppressed anger: guilt and shame act as dams, blocking the very life force that wants to flow through us. Anger, at its core, is pure vitality - the fire in the solar plexus that fuels passion, creativity, courage, and aliveness. It is the"No" that protects our sacred Yes. It is the inner roar that says,"Enough - I deserve better." 

When disconnected from the heart, anger can indeed become destructive. In patriarchal structures, it has often been twisted into greed, domination, ego-driven ambition, or violence. But this is not anger's true nature. When anger arises from our authentic truth - anchored in the heart, connected to our sexual life force and soul calling - it becomes a profound power blended with vulnerability. It is the courage to stand tall, speak honestly, and protect what matters, regardless of other's opinions or material consequences. This sacred anger is the inner warrior: fierce yet compassionate, protective yet open. It burns away what no longer serves us, making space for deeper love. 

So why does shame silence it? Because from early child hood, many of us learned: "Anger makes you unlovable." If we expressed rage, we were punished, shamed, or abandoned emotionally. The message became: "Something is wrong with me if I feel this." Over time, anger gets exiled, labeled as "bad," while guilt becomes the jailer: "Good people don't get angry.” The fear runs deeper still: "If I let this out, I'll fall apart. I'll hurt someone. I'll go crazy." This terror stops the flow before it begins. We brace against our own power, terrified of its intensity. 

Yet the truth is liberating: anger doesn't have to explode all at once. We can allow it gradually, in the safety of our own body - through sound, movement, breath, or shaking. Start small: a low growl in the throat, a firm stomp of the foot, a pillow punch with a clear "No!" As we titrate this expression - little by little - the nervous system learns it's safe. The shame softens under awareness: "I see you, old guardian. Thank you for protecting me once. But I am safe now." 

With practice, openings appear. The anger begins to flow, and beneath it? Often deeper feelings emerge - fear, sadness, grief. This is the beauty of the emotional cycle: a dynamic flow of Fear → Anger → Sadness → Love → Compassion. When we allow this natural river to move unrestricted in the moment, we reclaim our full humanity. We become alive, passionate, and deeply connected - to ourselves and others. Anger, when honored, is not destruction - it's transformation. It clears the path for love to enter. 

Next time anger stirs, pause and ask: 

What truth is this fire protecting?
Where in my body do I feel its heat?
What shame or guilt is guarding thegate?
Can I allow just 10% of this energy to move - safely, now? 

Breathe into the solar plexus. Let the inner fire rise with compassion. You are not "too much." You are magnificently alive. 

With heartfelt compassion and dedication,
Nisarga Eryk Dobosz - BBTRS, BCST, CI, MER, LOMI